Memorial Service Information

Memorial Services in IL

What is a Memorial Service?

Traditionally, a memorial service is designed to honor and pay tribute to a loved one's life. A memorial service can be arranged by anyone, but usually close family members or friends arrange the service. 

 

Memorial services may take place in a church, synagogue, chapel, or another place of worship. There are several reasons people may choose a less traditional approach to a memorial service such as holding the service at different styles of venues. For example, this might include a memorial service being held in a bowling alley if the deceased enjoyed bowling. A memorial service can be held many days or even weeks after the person’s death for the convenience of those who plan to attend. 

 

Unlike at a funeral, the body is not present during the memorial service. Instead, a framed photograph of the deceased or an urn will normally be the focal point of the ceremony. 

What is a Memorial Service tree in Field

The ideal memorial service attire can typically be something you would wear to a funeral unless the family of the deceased has requested otherwise. Men usually wear a dark suit, button up T-shirt, tie, and dress shoes. A conservative dress, skirt, or pantsuit can often be a choice for women’s attire. There are exceptions to traditional memorial service attire if surviving family members choose to take a more casual approach to the service, in this case they can ask attendees to wear something brighter or more festive. 

 

The family planning the memorial service may decide to hold a reception. They may choose to have the reception at the same place as the memorial service or at another location that can accommodate larger gatherings. Some smaller receptions are sometimes held at a person’s home. It may be a stand-up style reception with refreshments accompanied by a pot-luck dinner or if it is held at a restaurant, a sit-down dinner. 

 

 Some Additional Memorial Service Etiquette:  

 

  • When attending a memorial service there are some additional guidelines you should follow: 

 

  • Turn off your cell phone before arriving to the memorial service. 
  • Be sure to arrive on time, showing up late disrupts the service and will be disrespectful. 

 

  • Sign the guest book. 

 

Be careful of what you say to the family of the deceased. This can be a difficult and sensitive time for them, so if you are unsure or in doubt, do not say it. A warm handshake, gentle hug, and a few words are all you need. The deceased may have done volunteer work or had a passion for charities if so, you may be asked to donate in that person’s memory. It is always good to honor their wishes, even if it is a small amount. Most charities will send the surviving family an acknowledgement to let them know you donated. 

Memorial Service Ideas

Our experience has shown us that many of today's families want more than a traditional funeral. This can be done by bringing more of the personality and lifestyle of the deceased into the arrangements. By displaying photographs or staging the event around a favorite pastime, a memorial service can become more personal and meaningful.

If a personalized memorial service suits the needs of your family, we suggest you consider the following questions:
  • What did your loved one like to do?
  • What was he or she like as an individual?
  • What was their profession and how did that shape their life?
  • Was your loved one spiritual?
  • Was he or she proud of their cultural or ethnic heritage? 

    Why a Memorial Service?

    Rather than opting to do things "the same old way", many families today want to celebrate the life of a loved one. Many funeral service professionals see this change as one of the many contributions to social change made by  "Baby Boomers". The National Funeral Directors Association notes, "As baby boomers age and find themselves having to plan funerals for loved ones and themselves, they are making funeral choices based on values that are different than previous generations. Baby boomers see funerals as a valuable part of the grieving process and are seeking ways to make them meaningful." If you too desire to make the funeral for a loved one more engaging and personally meaningful, a celebration-of-life may be the perfect concept to build on.

    How Does a Celebration of Life Differ from a Traditional Funeral?

    As mentioned in the page Traditional Funeral Services, there are four basic components which make up the conventional approach to funerals:
    1. A Visitation
    2. The Funeral Service
    3. A Committal Service
    4. The Funeral Reception
    A traditional funeral then is a series of events; it's a ritualized process where the deceased, and the attendees, pass from one social status to another; a process where the torn fabric of a family and community is repaired. According to the online article "Six Characteristics of Helpful Ceremonies", by William Hoy, Director of Grief Connect, this is done by including:
    • Symbols of shared significance intended to communicate beyond words
    • Ritual actions shared by a group of individuals
    • Gathered people providing comfort to one another
    • Connection to heritage through recognized readings
    • Increased physical contact between attendees provide comfort
    • Witnessing the transition of the body through burial or cremation
    In knowing these characteristics, you can design a Celebration of Life as unique as the life of your loved. Learn how to create a Celebration of Life.
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