Traditionally, a memorial service is designed to honor and pay tribute to a loved one's life. A memorial service can be arranged by anyone, but usually close family members or friends arrange the service.
Memorial services may take place in a church, synagogue, chapel, or another place of worship. There are several reasons people may choose a less traditional approach to a memorial service such as holding the service at different styles of venues. For example, this might include a memorial service being held in a bowling alley if the deceased enjoyed bowling. A memorial service can be held many days or even weeks after the person’s death for the convenience of those who plan to attend.
Unlike at a funeral, the body is not present during the memorial service. Instead, a framed photograph of the deceased or an urn will normally be the focal point of the ceremony.
The ideal memorial service attire can typically be something you would wear to a funeral unless the family of the deceased has requested otherwise. Men usually wear a dark suit, button up T-shirt, tie, and dress shoes. A conservative dress, skirt, or pantsuit can often be a choice for women’s attire. There are exceptions to traditional memorial service attire if surviving family members choose to take a more casual approach to the service, in this case they can ask attendees to wear something brighter or more festive.
The family planning the memorial service may decide to hold a reception. They may choose to have the reception at the same place as the memorial service or at another location that can accommodate larger gatherings. Some smaller receptions are sometimes held at a person’s home. It may be a stand-up style reception with refreshments accompanied by a pot-luck dinner or if it is held at a restaurant, a sit-down dinner.
Some Additional Memorial Service Etiquette:
Be careful of what you say to the family of the deceased. This can be a difficult and sensitive time for them, so if you are unsure or in doubt, do not say it. A warm handshake, gentle hug, and a few words are all you need. The deceased may have done volunteer work or had a passion for charities if so, you may be asked to donate in that person’s memory. It is always good to honor their wishes, even if it is a small amount. Most charities will send the surviving family an acknowledgement to let them know you donated.