Myths About Grieving
Grieving is a highly individual experience, and can apply to any type of loss. Most of us just associate grieving with the loss of a loved one, but in truth, it can apply to a myriad of different situations. Moving away from lifelong friends, changing jobs, or a devastating breakup. It’s personal to you or the person who is dealing with the life change, and there’s no right or wrong way to grieve. If it was a significant loss, there may be grief involved.
The grieving process takes time, and happens gradually. Whether it’s you or someone close to you who is experiencing grief, one of the best things you can do is to let go of the popular beliefs about grieving and allow the process to unfold naturally. Here are a couple of myths about grief and the reality:
Myth: The pain will go away faster if you ignore it.
Fact: Trying to ignore the pain, or distract yourself from it, only lengthens the grieving process and makes it worse in the long run. In order to heal your grief, it helps to actively deal with your feelings.
Myth: If you don’t cry, you aren’t truly grieving.
Fact: Crying is one way to release the feelings of grief, but it’s not the only way. People who don’t cry may feel the pain as deeply as those who do, it’s simply a different way of showing it.
Myth: It’s important to “be strong” when dealing with loss.
Fact: It’s ok to let your guard down feel the sadness, loneliness, fear or whatever you are feeling when you are grieving. It’s a healthy and normal part of the process. It also helps your friends and family to understand where you are and from there, how they can help you.
Myth: Moving on with your life means forgetting about your loss.
Fact: Moving on and forgetting are two completely separate things. Moving on simply means that you’ve accepted your loss. That’s different from forgetting. At a certain point, moving on is healthy, and keeping that memory of that person or thing you lost can become a piece of who you are.
If you are dealing with grief or a deep loss, there are different ways to cope with the pain, healing yourself and continuing to live your life. Exploring support groups, taking care of yourself physically and emotionally, and acknowledging the pain and its effect on your life are just a few. The most important thing is to recognize the pain for what it is, and give yourself the time and space to heal.
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